SENIOR YEAR STARTS TOMORROWWW

       So, my senior year of high school starts tomorrow. Bittersweet.
My high school experience hasn't been as great as I thought it would be when I was younger, but it seems weird that it'll be over this year. Summer was pretty nice, I enjoyed relaxing, and now I have to go back to school and see people I never wanted to see again. I have to start socializing again, cause I've hardly talked to or seen anyone from school the past 3 months. So lemme, ya know, reintegrate myself into teenage society.
       At least I have my schedule. It's alright. Mainly excited for Anatomy & Physiology and AP Literature. And I'm an office aide, so I get a period of relaxation :) except for delivering passes and stuff to classes. I know I'll for sure have people to eat lunch with, since Jaysha isn't here, and I don't wanna be a loner and eat by myself. Someone eating by themselves is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. Each college is having their own lunch, and there are 4 now, so look who won't have lunch with most of my friends. I do have friends in my own college, the medical one, but lots of my friends are in the media arts college :/ oh well.          
       Also, Bonnie, my other best friend or so I thought, I suppose I'll be seeing tomorrow. I don't think we have any classes together, and I'm kinda okay with that. She's still my best friend I guess, but things aren't the same. She told me once, well into our friendship, that she would never be able to give me the attention that a best friend deserves, and that's always made me think: well should I even call you my best friend? I have Jaysha, even though she lives in Florida now, and it breaks me over and over when I think about the fact that she's not here for senior year. And Lane. And Gabe, too, but she's at college now having fun :) Bonnie and I have connected and shared things, but it feels like she's purposely not hanging out with me. She'll tell me she wants to hang out but that she's working or otherwise busy, then I'll see her on Facebook saying she's hanging out with other people. I can't even say how much that hurt. I don't want to cut her out, but I deserve better!! I have to keep reminding myself that I deserve better than what a lot of people are willing to give. I think I'll wait for Bonnie to notice me, to hunt me down or get my attention in the halls tomorrow. I will not be the first one anymore. I love that girl and she loves me, but not as much as I deserve.

       With senior year comes so many responsibilities, decisions, tryouts, applications, and tests that I'm only partly ready to handle. At least I have my mom :) I'm applying to Harvard, and if I get in, they'll pay my way there! Praying I get in <3 my heart is set on Cambridge, Massachusetts. If not, I'll apply to TCU, ACU, and a few other universities. And my 17th birthday is Thursday! And my grandma's 71st! What a great coincidence :D

Have a great first day!
xoxo, Erin

MORE THAN A MONTH!

 

    Gahh I haven't posted in over a month and I'm sorry! I've been busy doing pretty much nothing, and on summer vacation, that can take awhile. A few fun things have happened since my last blog. :)

    I went to a sleepover for the girls in our church group! Even though I don't go to the church as often as I would like, which is a shame because I've made some amazing friends there, one of whom is going off to college this weekend D: I've become superrr close with her over the past year & a half (I think that's how long it's been) and I'm gonna miss her! She's a bundle of greatness <3 and her tattoo is freaking awesome!
But anyway, the sleepover, and she was there too lawl.
    Lauryn, the worship leader and host of the partay, drove Gabe & I to dinner where we met up with the rest of the girls. I ate chicken enchiladas which were tasty :) then we went to Lauryn's house, and that car ride was prolly the most fun car ride I've ever had. Lauryn is one of the most hilarious people I know, other than me of course ;) and her apartment is the most adorable apartment I've ever seen! It has quite a lot of floor space :o & she said I could live with her so that's where I'm headed! Joking. A girl's mom gave us a little church lesson while Lauryn went out to get us Monsters & cookies to bake! She got me a Rehab Green Tea Monster and it was so delicious! After our lesson we watched The Proposal, She's The Man and 27 Dresses! Lauryn went to sleep at like 1, but before that I had her pray with me over something I'm dealing with. While everyone was watching movies & chatting it up, I was dozing on and off the entire time. There was a small crisis where a cricket appeared on someone's blanket, and the squealing woke up Lauryn :( but she picked it up & threw it outside ugh. Then she asked where I was even though she passed by me to get the cricket & I don't see how she could miss me, I mean, I'm not tiny! :P she was checking to make sure I didn't get eaten by the cricket, how thoughtful that woman is at 2:30am. The last movie went off around 5:30am and I fell asleep an hour later, only to have to wake up at 8:30 to get ready to leave for a meeting with a girl there. Lauryn let me take all the cookies home and gave me a kiss on the cheek <3 she is one of the most kindhearted people I have ever met. Then I ate Whataburger for breakfast and I wish I could do that everyday.

    The meeting was hard to stay awake through considering I had two hours of sleep, which increased my irritability at stupid people.

The next day, my aunt took my twin sister & I shopping for school clothes! I must say, I wore way too many basketball shorts, sweats, & tshirts to school last year. So she took us to Forever 21, where she paid a buttload of money to get me like 5 new shirts and 2 or 3 pairs of jeans! She is too nice for doing that. People who go to my school, she's the reason I'll be dressing all ladylike ;) God takes care of all of my needs!

Random thought: I hate when people try to figure me out, because they never will. I can hardly figure myself out. Like you don't know my life, don't say what I am and what I'm not. Whether that's too stressed, not hardworking enough, or lazy, you have no idea what I go through on a daily basis to come to any conclusions about me. Speaking of, school starts in a week :(

Enjoy your week!
xoxo, Erin